Confessions of a Skanktastic Swimsuit

The living situation on the "yacht" (you'll see the reason for the quotes shortly) that we sailed around the Galapagos in were entertaining. It was a really nice little boat for 16 passengers, 7 crew members and 1 guide. However it was not luxurious by any stretch of the imagination - just comfy and pretty and well maintained for the most part.

We lived on all 3 layers of the ship. There were 3 cabins on the bottom, 1 on the main level and 4 on the upper level. They all contained bunk beds, a little shelving unit, life jackets and a bathroom that would make anyone clausterphobic. (Let's just say that even us short people didn't sit straight on the toilet cause then your knees hit the wall/door.) There was limited floor space - enough for 2 people to stand in but you definitely had to warn your roomie if you were trying to go around them cause a lurch of the ship (or just clumsiness) meant you were gonna touch in passing.

When trying to figure out the AC in the room we discovered just how tight our quarters were when Danielle from the upper bunk managed to kick me in the head. Ahh - memories of the many ways we nearly killed each other... This was a classic case of her kicking me and both of us nearly hyperventilating due to laughter, but the main one is yet to come.

Modesty went out the window within moments of entering our cabin. This being Danielle's and my first time spending more than a few hours together, it was all or nothing. Phrases like "warning, nudity ahead" were common. There was no bathroom discretion - note there was no standing room in the bathroom except the shower.

Now the other thing about these cabins was there were 2 temperatures - pleasantly warm with a sea breeze and humidity that kept the floor wet at all times or freeeeeezing with the little AC on full blast that didn't really help the humidity factor enough to dry out much of anything. Our towels never really dried (making the animal art they made from it everyday on the first half very cute but kinda gross too).

There were 2 main common areas on the ship. Most of the main level was a seating area and dining area and then on the upper deck there was a bar with another seating area. There were also a few lounge chairs out on the front deck but I avoided that area due to sunburn concerns. I was tomato-y enough already.

Now, I mentioned the towels not drying... And the intimacy of our cabin. However, this made for one unique situation for us. This may get gross and TMI for some people, but I find the memory still makes me laugh so hard I can't breath so I feel compelled to share...

So everyday we'd go snorkeling - generally 2 times per day. And we wore wetsuits we rented that hadn't been washed in who knows how long and were umpteen years old. Whatever. Afterwards I'd hang my swimsuit "to dry" in our bathroom knowing it wouldn't ever get dry. Everytime I put it on I groaned at the wet intimate areas which caused more giggling. About midway through Danielle took pity on me and used some of her clips to hang my suit out to dry after hers had dry. This meant hanging the suit in the main cabin rather than the bathroom in the open window so it'd pick up the breeze. Brilliant right? And thoughtful!! Man, karma had it in for us or something.

We came back from lunch to the most rank smell ever in our room. Ok, so it's questionable if it's worse than the duffel bag they gave Danielle to pack in (which of course we both smelled like the idiots we are - some people never learn that when one person says "eww - smell this" you really don't want to smell it not once, but twice). We walked in and gagged and laughed at the raunchiness that was our room. We thought Danielle's duffel had been let loose but it was safely in the rather smelly lifejacket cupboard growing something. And the smell emanated. I can't describe just how bad it was. I thought "maybe swimsuit?" but didn't take a good wiff thinking I would've noticed it just that morning when I wore it. Finally I gave in and smelled the suit and promptely ended up sitting on the floor crying from laughing because, yes, it was indeed my swimsuit.

I promptly swore I'd never wear it again and then realized we were going snorkeling later that day and there was no way I was letting my skanky swimsuit keep me from from the water. I washed it out in the shower with some detergent which calmed the smell but by no means got rid of it.

For the rest of the trip that suit was washed after every snorkel and still the smell lingered - not as pungent but definitely present.

When snorkeling, I only saw one shark.. most people saw a dozen. To this day I know I never would've been hammerhead bait because I smelled like rotten meat and they like it fresh. That's probably why I didn't see a shark - they swam away quickly when they smelled me coming.

The suit came home with me (my shoes did not - the shoe smell was a whole other story and Danielle and Amy are fighting their shoes - I didn't need another smell battle so mine are still growing somewhere in the Galapagos creating a biohazard). The suit is now hanging in my laundry bathroom. It's been through the washer 3 times. It doesn't smell. I'm still however never going to be able to put it on without smelling it and laughing.

Yes, I wore the skanky swimsuit. Maybe that's how I got iguana flu??